Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The end of a Relationship.. and the Start of New Relationship

Jan Pieter and I decided to stop our 'relationship'. For those who do not know us, we were together for more than a year and do some wonderful work together.

We strived hard to carry our way of being together out of the old ways. This relationship would have no contracts, no expectations or promises. Our love would be unconditional. No strings attached trough old patterns of pain, fear, guilt or shame. (Of course, while accepting that we are not 'perfect'.)
In every moment again we would choose to be together, or keeping distance if we preferred. We would not let our old fear of being alone dictate a pact of togetherness.

Every time a 'problem' would come up, we would look at its root and both take our own responsibility. In everything there is something from you that made it be. It is tempting to start carrying each others burdens and relief each others pains, but this does not fix or address these issues and creates dependency.
We grew together.
Each into our own strong space.

Only when we decided to 'be separate' we noticed how much we had still bound each other. The word 'relationship' restricted us in some way, emotionally and energetically, even while being so aware..
Deciding to be apart felt good, like a relief, even with so much love that we have for the other. We could immediately feel the energy change between us.

My mother somewhat teasingly accused us of running away from difficulties and not facing our difficulties and differences. It could look like that, and I know I had the tendency to run away, being somewhat damaged in receiving love, like a lot of us have been.
But on the contrary, I believe Jan Pieter and I are facing our issues more than ever. We let go of safety nets made up of relationship (even an 'open relationship') and look at our hurts of separation. All our hurts. I don't rely on him, I rely on my big I Am and I strengthen.

This might sound odd, but I feel this is a big step to integrate a new form of relationship. One that fits our ever higher-in-vibration reality. We are changing so fast.
A form of relationship where our past pains stemming from the illusion of separation don't dictate how we relate to eachother.
A form of relationship where there is no need for grabbing and holding on.
A form of relationship where all flows freely, in full trust in life and full responsibility, where we are truly empowered.

Stork nest

When you fully know life gives you all you need, there is no more need to hold on to something. You don't fear to lose anymore, there is always plenty. You trust. You create.
The joy of the other is your joy. Going inside and carrying yourself gives you full capability to grow and be the most genuine expression of Self you can be. You could always find someone to lean on if you wish, but you mostly choose to grow and not suppress and even share dense and heavy energies, like we were used to doing before.

I feel this is important.
I feel even if we aren't in a partnership, this applies to all of us. We may welcome a new way of relating to eachother now. A new way of communicating (if you haven't already). A step facilitating our en-masse enlightenment. (Yes, this is something we are on our way to, don't worry.)


In the book 'The Pleiadian Tantric Workbook' Amorah Quan Yin writes that distrust, control and lust-based sexuality are tools with which mankind can be controlled. The male/female split is the greatest source of separation and ego identity on Earth, she says. If we manage to rise above this, dissolve this issue, we dissolve our obstructions on the path to enlightenment.

So, this first step, that looks like going back to separation, could very well be the step necessary to erase our pains and illusions of separation. Then, grown to complete trust and responsible spiritual beings, we make space for the fake walls of separation to come crashing down. We can fully embody Oneness and live (and play) in it.

Now there is space to really live in oneness and love on Earth. The love that makes up all things. I can feel it resonating in my chest. It is enormous and carries us.


I don't want to ever restrict anyone again. I do not need to restrict any other being to be safe and completely fulfilled myself. I do wonder what relating to eachother will look like. What it will look like with having children. What new world we will shape. I look forward to it. Now is the time we write it.. very exciting!

Dear Jan Pieter, Aereon, I bow for you, thank you for reflecting all that love, for walking, learning and growing with me. You are as beautiful as creation.
I feel happy to experience Earth with you, along with all those other beautiful expressions of Source. A big hug and kiss! :)

Jan Pieter and Dorien Hannah

And to all other amazing expressions of Love that read this…
I would be very happy to hear what you think. What are your ideas, opinions, creations concerning this? How do you deal with the transforming vibration and transforming shapes of relationships?
Leave a comment, let me know how you are..

With love,
Dorien Hannah


Lisette said...

Ik bewonder het, mooi dat het zo kan <3 het betekent dat jullie al een heel eind op weg zijn in het proces van zelfliefde denk ik....... :)

Suzanne Knol said...

Hey lieve Dorien,
Ik voel en hoor wat je zegt en ervaar hetzelfde met een man met wie ik ook heel veel liefde deel, maar op een of andere manier kunnen we niet samen in een 'relatie'zijn. Of het wel een vriendschappelijke relatie kan zijn, moet nog blijken. Ik herken het vasthouden aan en de angst voor verlies. Ik herken ook heel veel in de tweelingzielconnectie zoals ik die her en der lees. En ja, we mogen nog van alles loslaten en uitwerken, alleen vraag ik me dan af: Is het pas mogelijk om werkelijk in een onvoorwaardelijke 'relatie'te zijn op het moment dat we alle pijn, angst etc. hebben geheeld?
Dat vind ik persoonlijk niet zo'n geweldig vooruitzicht, who knows wanneer dat zal zijn! En zullen we zover komen dat we werkelijk overal zelf verantwoordelijkheid voor kunnen nemen en er niks meer 'tussen zit'.
Tot nu toe ervaar ik inderdaad ook dat telkens als we besluiten niet meer in een relatie te zijn dit een opluchting is en ik ben telkens weer blijer met mezelf. Tegelijkertijd geeft juist dat ook weer inzichten over mezelf en over wat ik projecteer en dus zelf nog onder ogen mag zien.
Anderzijds zit ik nu in een periode waarin we even geen aards contact hebben, maar ik tegelijkertijd hem wel heel veel en vaak voel en hij ook op onbewust niveau (of zijn ziel) heel sterk contact aan het maken is en soms ook om hulp vraagt.
Wat is hierin de juiste weg om te bewandelen? Ik weet het niet.
Ik doe mijn best om gewoon mijn eigen ding te doen en gefocused te blijven op waar ik mee bezig ben. Makkelijk vind ik het niet als hij te pas en te onpas energetisch komt binnen 'wandelen'.
Anyway, een definitieve breuk en besluiten elkaar echt niet meer te zien, is ons tot nog toe niet gelukt, dus bewandel ik vooralsnog de weg van vriendschappelijke relatie, hoe dat er dan ook uit moge zien. :-)